THIS is why I keep my blog going

thMy affair is pretty much ancient history. We are doing great.  We no longer talk about “it” or “her.” It’s well in our rear view mirror.  But I have kept this blog going.  Why? Because of the notes I get every week from people, desperate for help and/or thanking me for my blog profusely.  Because I feel like I’m making a difference still.  Because a voice of someone like me is sorely needed in a sea of blogs that rarely present the point of view of the “Recovering Wayward Spouse,” and if they do, it’s usually inaccurate and mean-spirited. Continue reading

Affair Recovery: Getting Over The Other Woman

woman_in_shadow_by_isabellaspace-d5e7nppI post very little about my affair or myself any longer.  I wanted the blog to be not about me, but about the topic — to help others get out of infidelity, avoid it altogether or heal from it.  So I say very little about my affair, my wife, my recovery or “her.”  Its been more than 900 days since D-day and when I cut things off with “her”. My marriage has recovered well. We don’t talk about “it”.  It’s very much in the rear view mirror for us. Continue reading

“How do you feel about her now and how does your wife know you won’t cheat again?”

1. What do you feel for/about your affair partner now?

2. How does your wife know you won’t do it again, either with this woman or someone else?


1. What do you feel for/about your affair partner now?

I think I sort of answered that in your previous question, or at least in other blogs.  How do I feel about her? Nothing good. I see her as a dishonest, immature, cunning, manipulative, drama queen. Continue reading

After the Affair: Wearing “the Scarlet Letter”

I can’t believe how lucky I have been to have the wife I have. Who, in the face of the single most devastating thing I could’ve done inside the marriage, has shown me courage, love, forgiveness and understanding, even while dealing with her own rage, memories and doubts caused by all of this. She has been amazing, almost from day one. There was never a question in her mind that, despite what I did, that she still loved me and still wanted to be married to me. Continue reading