Blog Feedback

I get emails every day from all over the world about the blog. Are a few nasty? Yes, but it’s very few and I realize that there are people out there who are misdirecting and projecting their own anger and frustration onto me.  Some of them even have blogs, but I ignore them. They aren’t worth the effort.  It’s easier to criticize strangers than to look in the mirror, I guess.   Criticism goes with the territory on blogs and especially on this topic. But it does not deter me.

But almost every day I get  notes from people– Betrayeds and Waywards alike, men and women, young and old — asking for my help, my insights, and often thanking me for my time and my blog. This pleases me and is why I keep this blog going even though I don’t post new entries very often.  Here’s but a handful of some of the nice comments I’ve received this year.

“I am 6 months into a lifetime of recovery and your blog is without a doubt the best thing I’ve ever seen.”

“I wanted to take a minute to thank you for having the courage to write your blog. It must not have been easy but please know that it helps so many others.  I am a BW 9 weeks into discovery. …I can’t wait to read EVERYTHING you have written. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for putting yourself out there.”

“Thank you so much for your blog. I am the betrayed spouse, and ours is a longstanding marriage.  The full Monty D Day for my husband and me… is still very raw for me.  After initial waves of rage, depression, humiliation, and more pain than I ever imagined I could ever feel, I have begun trying to understand his place and perspective, and I found most information from Betrayed Spouses to be too painful. Either it re-triggers my emotions, or makes me empathize painfully with theirs, or is filled with hopeless bitterness, and I keep going in these small horrible circles emotionally. So I wanted to understand him more, the why and how and all that, and I came across your blog. Very real, articulate, gritty, caring, brave and even humorous to the right degree. You’ve made a difference for me.”

Many thanks for this blog ; a completely accidental find, but a godsend, and a refreshing change from the vitriolic nonsense elsewhere on the net.

“I discovered your blog and comments today and it’s like water in the desert. Thank you for doing this. I find so much wisdom and hope there.”

“Thank you so much for your openness and honesty. I am the betrayed spouse and am married to a man worth fighting for. You have given me so much insight into what he’s feeling, where I’ve gone wrong, what we can do to rebuild a better marriage and not tear us apart. I have been devouring every book and web sight I can get my hands on but yours has been so helpful as it gives me the perspective of my wayward husband.”

“I just wanted to let you know how happy I am to have found your blog. It’s a breath of fresh air to read someone who is so honest about all the feelings involved in all of this —from both sides. I’ve been searching the web trying to find relatable content and your blog was definitely the only one I’ve come across that unpacks the complexities of affairs so well.”

“Your blog helps more people than I think you will ever realize. Don’t stop writing.”

Your site has more useful information than a hundred trips to the therapist could ever.

“I’ve read much about affairs online, and I find a lot of what’s on your site to be one of the best, at least for my perspective and sorting out myself.”

“You have and continue to be a voice out there that has made much difference.  Thank you doesn’t seem to cover it.”

“I just wanted to let you know that your thoughtful curation and commentary has been a godsend to me.  I have been experiencing emotional chaos for the last four months over an affair-related issue.  I am sure it sounds ridiculous, but your blog has taken the edge off my torment.  While I can’t thank you enough for what you are doing, the most important thing about your blog is how you do what you are doing.  You are an intelligent and extremely decent person.  Thank you for sharing your self with the world.”

“…Finding your blog this morning has felt like a life preserver.”

“I saw your blog site and applaud you doing something positive to reach out and share with others…. I think it is great that you are taking a tough situation and using it to help others….”

” I found you by searching “Adulterous wife has no remorse” and feel very lucky to have struck gold.  A lot of sites are very angry, but yours is uplifting for both parties.”

“I wanted to take a minute to thank you for having the courage to write your blog. It must not have been easy but please know that it helps so many others.  I am a BW 9 weeks into discovery. …I can’t wait to read EVERYTHING you have written. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for putting yourself out there.”

“Your site has more useful information than a hundred trips to the therapist could ever.”

“I found your blog last night when I was feeling quite down about my marriage/my ‘affair’ and it helped me gain the courage to end it for good, which I did today by email.”

“I wish I would have found these articles about 2-3 years ago….Thank you for your inspiring information…”

“Hi,  this is so surreal as everything I have read about you personally and your advice and feelings and thoughts makes me wonder if you are my husband!  It has been a revelation to me after reading your blog particularly as I have scoured the Internet looking for answers and advice and most is answered here.”

“I read your story it touched my heart that you and your wife survived this…..Thank you for sharing your story don’t feel like I’m the only guy.  Spread hope..”

“Hi, betrayed spouse here. just spent a couple of hours browsing through your very informative blog- thank you for providing this place for all of us…Thanks again for your thoughtful blog. Your wife is very fortunate.”

“I have been reading your blog and they are really helpful. So, thank you for writing them.  It is, in fact, a very unbiased blog. Generally there are forums which were created by angry ex wives or angry adulterers and I don’t believe things are as black and white as they make it.”

“I  came across your website the other day and it slapped me in the face hard….Everything that you wrote down there is exactly, word for word, what I have been feeling and continue to feel.  You were taking the words right out of my mouth.  Every single one.”

“I recently came across your blog … And I must say that u have written from your heart and it really helped me to analyse and understand certain things…”

“Congrats to your very very helpful blog which is so true and honest!”

“First, I’d like to thank you for your blog that your have put together for those that have faced the tragedy of infidelity in their marriage.  Second, I think it takes a lot of courage and humility to do what you are doing and I am grateful that you have.”

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It’s comments like these that help me to keep this thing going. I appreciate the encouragement.  There IS hope, people. Don’t give in to the anger, The negativity.  Open your minds and hearts to the real possibilities of forgiveness and growth.

 

–RW