Affair Stories: The heartbreak of the Accidental Other Woman, “Jenn”

Someone wrote me and asked me for advice. Eventually they asked if I would post their affair story in order to help others.  So while I have not posted in a long time, I will post this story from this thoughtful, heart-broken young woman.  Let’s call her “Jenn.  She met a man and did not realize for many months that he was in reality married and that she was in an affair.   It all ended not long after this disclosure.  so while we love to blame the OW/OM for affairs, here’s a twist – her lover was careful to shield his marriage from her.  She is the “Accidental OW”.

10 Signs Your Partner May be Cheating (sponsored post)

I did not write this, and while I think that each of these may or may not indicate infidelity (and frankly, there are more than these signs and each situation is different), I think there is still quite a bit of truth to these as well.\

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10 Signs Your Partner Is Cheating on You

Cheating has always been around us: this problem is as old as the hills. Modern humanity goes through the huge changes of the relationship conception, which makes the number of cheaters grow.

Answering My Critics and Nonsense About My Infidelity Blog

Every once in a while, I run across commentary about my blog, and me personally.  Usually by bitter betrayed spouses. Almost always inaccurate. I don’t take them on directly.  They will only yell and scream more nonsense at me.

But I’m not afraid to take on their criticism either.  So I’m printing it here, and by the way, this is only a sample of some of the utter and complete nonsense that I’ve read about me:

1 million hits

just reached this morning.  1 MILLION hits.  Since January 2013.  Currently still running at more than 5,000 views per day even though I’m no longer posting or allowing comments.  Wow.

I had to come back and post that. To me, it’s stunning.  There’s obviously one heck of a lot of interest in this topic.

here’s what it looked like October 1.  June/July were down for the weeks when I set the whole thing to private. I think this shows how fast it grew. the irony is that I didn’t start using the counter until well after I began the blog. it’s probably closer to 1.6 or 1.7 million in reality.

It stuns me. Still.  There is so much of a demand for information. That’s what this means.

That’s all I have to say.  Last post.  Bye again.

Why I’ve Stopped Contributing to the Blog — This is Goodbye, But Feel Free to Read the Old Stuff and Email Me

About 2 months ago, abruptly, I set this blog to private, and gave nobody access to it.

A blog growing in popularity monthly, and was running at about 5,000 hits a day and that was within 60 days of achieving it’s 1 millionth hit. A blog where I had received literally hundreds of comments and emails thanking me for it.  A blog that gave me satisfaction and was part of my personal penance for what I had done.

And when I ended it, I received frantic emails from many asking me to let them back in. Or for help.  And hundreds of access requests.

So I needed to explain this.  Why did I end it?  Why is it back?

“Feedback” from a Reader

I found this in my draft folder. I thought I would publish it a year later anyway. why not?

You gotta love this. I mean, what motivates some of these people?   I can’t imagine why someone would have such hate and vitriol for a stranger. I can’t imagine why my blog’s message of mutual understanding, hope, forgiveness and reconciliation (while being 100% against affairs) is so threatening to someone.  But the world is full of people, and some of them are jerks.

To Confess or Not Confess Your Affair

“Should I confess my affair to my spouse/partner??” This is a vexing question for many.  Of course, I will have the chorus of the usual crowd of Betrayed Spouses that visit (and sometimes attempt to bomb) my blog say, “YES OF COURSE! YOU MUST TELL! ALWAYS! NO MATTER HOW MUCH TIME HAS GONE BY!”  And they may have a point. It’s better to be honest.  Living a lie is bad.  Basing a marriage on a big lie (or a series of them) isn’t just bad, it’s abusive.

Forgiving an Affair that Occurred Decades Ago

Twice in the last year, I have been asked by someone how to overcome the recent disclosure that their spouse had an affair many years ago. In one case, about 20 years ago. In another case, 30 years ago (yes, during the first Reagan Administration!).  I guess I was initially puzzled as what to advise.  So I throw this one out to my readers as well.

Cheaters and Those Betrayed: Choose a Path, or You Get “The Squish Just Like Grape”

Do People Happy in Their Marriages Have Affairs Too?

The answer?  Mostly not.  But sometimes yes.  It’s an illogical and mind-boggling phenomenon.  There are people very happy in their marriages that have affairs?  Really?