Someone wrote me and asked me for advice. Eventually they asked if I would post their affair story in order to help others. So while I have not posted in a long time, I will post this story from this thoughtful, heart-broken young woman. Let’s call her “Jenn. She met a man and did not realize for many months that he was in reality married and that she was in an affair. It all ended not long after this disclosure. so while we love to blame the OW/OM for affairs, here’s a twist – her lover was careful to shield his marriage from her. She is the “Accidental OW”. Continue reading
Another in a series of my interviews with cheaters, both current and former. This is an “Other Woman”, and a married one. Whose affair was discovered and is over. I think you’ll find her story compelling. This was a fairly brief, non-physical, but very intense affair. You can see how quickly feelings can escalate even when no physical contact at all is involved. And you will see what a huge mental price she has paid for her emotional dalliance. She now has to live with the guilt and because her Affair Partner’s wife knows, but has not (yet) ratted her out, she lives with the fear that at some point it will all be disclosed to her husband. Every time the phone rings, she probably jumps. Or worries whenever her husband approaches her without a smile on his face. This is the price she has paid. The “Sword of Damacles” will hang over her head for years.
She writes in a very from the heart sort of way. Raw and real. She pulls no punches. She does not justify her actions in any way. It’s worth a read. Judge if you must, but if you must, please do it silently. She’s put herself out there hopefully to help others avoid affairs.
As some of you may know, I get private emails from readers – cheaters and betrayed spouses alike, and almost in equal amounts — asking for my reaction, to thank me, to ask for my help or just to vent about infidelity issues that touched their lives. I get far more emails than comments on the blog entries, in fact. People would rather not vent their personal struggles out in the open. Even anonymously. And I respect that. I’ve never outed anyone that’s written me, I’ve always protected people’s privacy. Even the jerks. Continue reading
Another the series I’ve been writing lately – personal interviews (by email) of former or current Cheaters. Continue reading
This is another in my series of interviews of those involved in Infidelity, in order to give a perspective to others and put a human face to these stories. As you will see below, “Charles” (named changed to preserve anonymity) was involved in a relatively sexless marriage. He feels completely rejected by his wife romantically/physically, and it’s why he sought out an Affair, which he now very much regrets. Again, an example of “cause and effect”. If you don’t make your spouse feel understood, appreciated, desired and wanted, someone else might. Happy and content people rarely have affairs. His writing is raw, powerful, and full of shame, regret and inner turmoil. Well worth the read.
With that, meet Charles…. Continue reading
I hope to create a series of these — sort of an “In their own words” kind of blog entries– for former cheaters, current cheaters, the Other Woman/Other Man, maybe betrayed spouses (although they never seem to be without venues for their stories and opinions, so maybe not). this is the first one. Through it, I hope to put real faces, real emotions and thoughts to a complex issue. For my readers to gain insight into the minds of people involved in infidelity. Continue reading
I found this story poignant and, wow, could I relate to a lot of it — both how it got started and how he felt during recovery. It’s worth reading for any wayward or betrayed spouse. His journey and healing were inspirational to me at a time when I needed some inspiration. Continue reading
Again, poignant parts and my commentary on a blog that really spoke to me. Not just for how it all evolved, but his recovery as well. My story is a tad different — he divorced and actually attempted to make a go of it with his Affair Partner. I did not. I immediately knew that I wanted to save my marriage and put all my effort into it. But other than that, there are parallels. Continue reading