Someone wrote me and asked me for advice. Eventually they asked if I would post their affair story in order to help others. So while I have not posted in a long time, I will post this story from this thoughtful, heart-broken young woman. Let’s call her “Jenn. She met a man and did not realize for many months that he was in reality married and that she was in an affair. It all ended not long after this disclosure. so while we love to blame the OW/OM for affairs, here’s a twist – her lover was careful to shield his marriage from her. She is the “Accidental OW”. Continue reading
Every once in a while, I run across commentary about my blog, and me personally. Usually by bitter betrayed spouses. Almost always inaccurate. I don’t take them on directly. They will only yell and scream more nonsense at me.
But I’m not afraid to take on their criticism either. So I’m printing it here, and by the way, this is only a sample of some of the utter and complete nonsense that I’ve read about me: Continue reading
“Should I confess my affair to my spouse/partner??” This is a vexing question for many. Of course, I will have the chorus of the usual crowd of Betrayed Spouses that visit (and sometimes attempt to bomb) my blog say, “YES OF COURSE! YOU MUST TELL! ALWAYS! NO MATTER HOW MUCH TIME HAS GONE BY!” And they may have a point. It’s better to be honest. Living a lie is bad. Basing a marriage on a big lie (or a series of them) isn’t just bad, it’s abusive. Continue reading
Twice in the last year, I have been asked by someone how to overcome the recent disclosure that their spouse had an affair many years ago. In one case, about 20 years ago. In another case, 30 years ago (yes, during the first Reagan Administration!). I guess I was initially puzzled as what to advise. So I throw this one out to my readers as well. Continue reading
The answer? Mostly not. But sometimes yes. It’s an illogical and mind-boggling phenomenon. There are people very happy in their marriages that have affairs? Really? Continue reading
I get so many emails now I can’t barely keep up. I try and answer all of them. But I also get some common questions that I answer privately that might be of interest to my readers here. Plus, I pay attention to the search engine terms that lead people to my blog every week, which often are questions themselves. So here are very short answers to some random infidelity questions. Continue reading
I’ve had this question several times by email — “What should I do? My best friend is having an affair. Should I tell his/her spouse?” Or maybe your sister or brother. Or sister-in-law. Etc. Someone you’re very close to. I’ve also seen this question in variations in the search engine requests that lead people to my blog. It’s a tough one. I DO think it’s situational to some extent — there is no one answer — but I think I’d still like to weigh in on it.
Another in a series of my interviews with cheaters, both current and former. This is an “Other Woman”, and a married one. Whose affair was discovered and is over. I think you’ll find her story compelling. This was a fairly brief, non-physical, but very intense affair. You can see how quickly feelings can escalate even when no physical contact at all is involved. And you will see what a huge mental price she has paid for her emotional dalliance. She now has to live with the guilt and because her Affair Partner’s wife knows, but has not (yet) ratted her out, she lives with the fear that at some point it will all be disclosed to her husband. Every time the phone rings, she probably jumps. Or worries whenever her husband approaches her without a smile on his face. This is the price she has paid. The “Sword of Damacles” will hang over her head for years.
She writes in a very from the heart sort of way. Raw and real. She pulls no punches. She does not justify her actions in any way. It’s worth a read. Judge if you must, but if you must, please do it silently. She’s put herself out there hopefully to help others avoid affairs.