Betrayed Spouse Anger After the Affair: A Gift and a Cancer

ImageOne of the many things I’ve noticed in numerous blogs of Betrayed Spouses is how much time is spent venting about the affair and their former (or still currently) Cheating Spouse.  Absolute venom and rage.  So much so that it appears to me to be getting  in the way of personal and marital healing.  Continue reading

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Perceptions – and why some Betrayed Spouses can’t get over an affair

I thought this article is interesting, written by a psychologist and former Betrayed Spouse herself.  It shows how incorrect perceptions result in some couples not being able to recover after an affair.  I read many of these same opinions in various Betrayed Spouse blogs.  But I think this one gives a great perspective on this from a therapist.  By providing the Waywards different perspective.  Also, it points out some truths about what it takes to really recover a marriage. Work on both sides! Vulnerability by both. And yes, forgiveness and a leap of faith. Continue reading

“Anger is a Secondary Emotion”

Anger is often called a secondary emotion because we tend to resort to anger in order to protect ourselves from or cover up other vulnerable feelings. A primary feeling is what is what is felt immediately before we feel anger. We almost always feel something else first before we get angry.

We might first feel afraid, attacked, offended, disrespected, forced, trapped, or pressured. If any of these feelings are intense enough, we think of the emotion as anger. Continue reading