Where is the boundary between appropriate privacy as an adult within a marriage and secrecy such that it’s undermining the marriage itself? A sticky issue, to be sure. My blog entry on whether spying on your spouse was ethical turned out to be one the most hotly contested blog entries I’ve every written and it touched on this issue — it’s the common thread: Just because I’m married, do I have no expectation of any personal privacy? Of not just deed, but of thought? Or my personal things? Can I have any measure of privacy without appearing to be dishonest? Couples often struggle with knowing what can be held back and what should be revealed between each other. There is sometimes confusion between a desire for privacy and a feeling that one’s partner is hiding something from us. “Privacy” and “Secrecy” are often confused by people, but they are different concepts.