When Single Men Have Affairs With Married Women

This is sort of Part II concerning single people having affairs with married people and why. Recently, I wrote about why single women have affairs with married men.  So today it’s the more rare circumstance — those few single men who have affairs with married women. And how the single male’s motivations and approach tends to be different than the single woman who is someone’s affair partner.

Why Single Women Have Affairs with Married Men

I won’t take credit for this. It’s a reprint from something I saw on ehow.com from author Dawn Sutton.  I found it doing research for someone based on their emailed question. While it’s hard to generalize about affairs and the people in them (it varies so much!!), I think what was written here sounded “right” to me.  And answers that question, “Why would some smart, attractive, single woman get involved with a married guy?”  I think a lot of Betrayeds have that question. 

The Other Woman Explained

These are not my words. A reader of mine sent me a link to a URL that some other man (I’m guessing someone in the UK, based on some of the wording and spelling) posted 4 years ago.  I found it to be humorous, but also full of a lot of truths. I could quibble here and there about some of his conclusions, and absolutes, but I thought it said a lot about the motivations of otherwise smart women to become mistresses. And the motivations of some married men to take them in their lives. And the motivations of some wives to turn a somewhat blind eye to what’s going on.  There were things in this article that definitely rang true to me.  I added in a few of my notes here and there.

The Mindset of the “Other Woman”: In Their Own Words

Time to address a voice rarely heard anywhere – that of the “Other Woman” — the reviled “homewrecker, “whore”, “selfish bitch”, the “cheap, easy floozy” and “gender traitor,” as many would term them, and if you listen to many blogs, the one and ONLY reason that some married men stray.

Letter to (or Assault Against?) the Other Woman

I am no fan of the cheater, despite what some of my readers think.  I’ve been very diligent not only in my opposition to affairs in general, but any attempts by active cheaters to justify themselves and their behavior.  If you are cheating, you have no justification, even if you have your ‘reasons’.  You are doing something that is a massive betrayal and deceit.  Frankly, some of you are pretty much self-indulgent, delusional, narcissistic twits.  I see blogs all of the time of current and former cheaters who absolutely don’t seem to have any remorse for having affairs.   I know not all of you are like this, even if Betrayed Spouses wish to paint you that way.  But some of you are.  Let’s face the facts:  Cheating is bad. There is no real way to justify it or sugar-coat it.

When the Other Woman Won’t Let Go: An Affair with a “Bunny Boiler”

Yes, this is personal. Unlike most people I’ve read about in blog-land, I was the guy who got sucked into a relationship with a true sociopath, but I didn’t know it until much later. I was the guy who had an affair with a bitter, controlling, Glenn Close-like ‘Venus Flytrap”.  I have experienced the “Bunny Boiler.”

Blaming the Other Woman or Other Man for Your Spouse’s Affair

How often have you heard or read something that I read today on another blog (related to an affair?) — “That WHORE ruined my marriage!!”, as if this woman forced a guy to cheat on his wife.  Or “That jerk seduced my wife and now my marriage is over!!”  It’s a common thing to read or hear.

“The Other Woman is not always a crazy, predatory monster”

Question from an ex “Other Woman”:

“Let it be known, that anyone who gets involved with a married man, is no picture of sanity. Low self-esteem? You betcha! Daddy issues? Absolutely! Prior abusive relationships? Bingo!  All stuff I’m currently working on……

But, It’s true, the OW is an emotional mess.  Granted some are crazier than others, but we all carry our own rocks. 

“How can you be mad at your OW’s lies when you were in a relationship based on lies?”

dotcablogger says:

July 21, 2012 at 5:22 pm (Edit)