“Facebook Caused My Spouse to Cheat and Leave Me”

I have seen this, or statements similar to this,  many times on message boards, blogs and such.   And in some emails I’ve received, there is direct (or implied) blame of social media why someone’s spouse cheated on them and left them.  So are social media the reason why people cheat and get divorced?  Not really.  They are just the most current, modern mechanism to facilitate it.  But not the causes.

Why do so many people cheat?

Sexual infidelity is one of humanity’s great obsessions, perhaps second only to violence. We abhor it, yet we want to hear all about it. We love the topic. It’s on the news, the web, movies, and on TV. We can’t get enough of it. But while we often get the details of “who” the infidelity involves and “how” it was carried off, the question of “why” is the most vexing.

A reblog: Why many men have affairs — and the mental consequences

I found this to be very profound and I could relate to it. I presents I think the mindset of many married men who have affairs and why they have them.  And I think it also highlights in this case the somewhat unaware or uncaring betrayed spouse who doesn’t care a dangerous emotional vacuum is opening up in the marriage. 

“Am I Having an Affair?”

Question from a reader:

Hi. I am the other woman in a relationship that has been going on for more than a few years. It is (quite) emotional but has never been physical. He flirts incessantly but never once crossed the line. He’s married, with grown children who are out of the house for good. I am single with none.

Things to Consider Before You Have An Affair

Looking back 3 years ago when I embarked on my affair, there were numerous potential fall-outs from my affair I really didn’t consider. Did I consider how my life might blow-up if it was discovered? I did. 

How do affairs start?

I’ve been mulling this topic over for a while because I see such vast differences in opinions on various blogs and message boards about how affairs really start — some nasty disinformation is prevalent out there, designed to shame the cheater or former cheater. 

Causes of an affair..and prevention

It’s so frequently debated. What causes an affair?  There are many books, articles, opinions about what causes an affair.  All over the web.  Too many people just want to say that anyone that cheats is merely a “jerk,” or a “slut”, a horrible person, through and through, selfish and uncaring without a shred of  character and integrity.  But that’s too simple and does not fit most people that have affairs.  GOOD people. MORAL people still find themselves caught up in an affair. So isn’t it smart to find out why, except for the truly mentally ill, that normal, average people who never envisioned themselves in an affair do so?

Are Affairs Really About Sex?

Many Betrayed Spouses have a tendency to blame men as a gender for infidelity, or that cheating is mostly about sexual opportunity.  In fact — these are myths!  The reasons for affairs are, in actuality, largely the the same for women and men – EMOTIONAL DISTANCE IN THE MARRIAGE OR RELATIONSHIP.  The following is a reprint of information about this question:  Are affairs usually about sex?

Should you tell your spouse of your affair after it’s over?

Interesting question was put to me by another blogger whose affair is over, but whose spouse does not know.  And that is:  Do I tell my spouse about the affair?

Well, what a hard question to answer and there is evidence on both sides.   I guess it comes down to this — it depends!  I saw opinions all over the place.  I have distilled several opinions here. 

The “Semi-Happy Marriage” and Affairs

“The Semi-happy Marriage: Too safe to leave, too boring to stay. A business partnership at best.” 

The “Semi-Happy Marriage has become common these days and is one of the most common situations that lead to affairs and/or divorce, according to relationship experts.

All marriages have their ups and downs, but the semi-happy marriage is chronically ambivalent. It’s a marriage that’s neither miserable nor all that successful.