Every once in a while, I run across commentary about my blog, and me personally. Usually by bitter betrayed spouses. Almost always inaccurate. I don’t take them on directly. They will only yell and scream more nonsense at me.
But I’m not afraid to take on their criticism either. So I’m printing it here, and by the way, this is only a sample of some of the utter and complete nonsense that I’ve read about me: Continue reading
“Should I confess my affair to my spouse/partner??” This is a vexing question for many. Of course, I will have the chorus of the usual crowd of Betrayed Spouses that visit (and sometimes attempt to bomb) my blog say, “YES OF COURSE! YOU MUST TELL! ALWAYS! NO MATTER HOW MUCH TIME HAS GONE BY!” And they may have a point. It’s better to be honest. Living a lie is bad. Basing a marriage on a big lie (or a series of them) isn’t just bad, it’s abusive. Continue reading
Twice in the last year, I have been asked by someone how to overcome the recent disclosure that their spouse had an affair many years ago. In one case, about 20 years ago. In another case, 30 years ago (yes, during the first Reagan Administration!). I guess I was initially puzzled as what to advise. So I throw this one out to my readers as well. Continue reading
The answer? Mostly not. But sometimes yes. It’s an illogical and mind-boggling phenomenon. There are people very happy in their marriages that have affairs? Really? Continue reading
I’ve had this question several times by email — “What should I do? My best friend is having an affair. Should I tell his/her spouse?” Or maybe your sister or brother. Or sister-in-law. Etc. Someone you’re very close to. I’ve also seen this question in variations in the search engine requests that lead people to my blog. It’s a tough one. I DO think it’s situational to some extent — there is no one answer — but I think I’d still like to weigh in on it.
I post very little about my affair or myself any longer. I wanted the blog to be not about me, but about the topic — to help others get out of infidelity, avoid it altogether or heal from it. So I say very little about my affair, my wife, my recovery or “her.” Its been more than 900 days since D-day and when I cut things off with “her”. My marriage has recovered well. We don’t talk about “it”. It’s very much in the rear view mirror for us. Continue reading
As some of you may know, I get private emails from readers – cheaters and betrayed spouses alike, and almost in equal amounts — asking for my reaction, to thank me, to ask for my help or just to vent about infidelity issues that touched their lives. I get far more emails than comments on the blog entries, in fact. People would rather not vent their personal struggles out in the open. Even anonymously. And I respect that. I’ve never outed anyone that’s written me, I’ve always protected people’s privacy. Even the jerks. Continue reading
Another the series I’ve been writing lately – personal interviews (by email) of former or current Cheaters. Continue reading
This is another in my series of interviews of those involved in Infidelity, in order to give a perspective to others and put a human face to these stories. As you will see below, “Charles” (named changed to preserve anonymity) was involved in a relatively sexless marriage. He feels completely rejected by his wife romantically/physically, and it’s why he sought out an Affair, which he now very much regrets. Again, an example of “cause and effect”. If you don’t make your spouse feel understood, appreciated, desired and wanted, someone else might. Happy and content people rarely have affairs. His writing is raw, powerful, and full of shame, regret and inner turmoil. Well worth the read.
With that, meet Charles…. Continue reading