How Many Men Feel “After the Affair”, Part 1

divorced-couple-001I often read blogs from betrayed wives who seem genuinely baffled by what their husband is thinking in the aftermath of a discovered affair.  What are they thinking now when they think about about their affair? Our recovery?  About their ex-Other Woman?  My own wife expressed this very thought to me this weekend.  It got me thinking. Are there commonalities in our thinking, especially among males? Continue reading

Why Cheaters Don’t Like to Discuss Affair Details

couple-arguingThe posts of a couple of betrayed spouses whose blog I stumbled upon recently got me thinking.    I read a lot of of stuff on blogs and message boards about how we as Wayward Spouses must answer every question put to us by our Betrayed Spouse so that they can “heal.”  Personally, I think some details need to be known, but others will only serve to undermine recovery and will be used instead as punishment and humiliation. I think that distinction needs to be made.   This business about “details” is really a two-edged sword and a fine line that the couple in recovery must walk. Carefully.  Some questions and their answers HELP recovery, others HINDER it. Know the difference.   Again, I write from the perspective of the male WS. I don’t know if female cheaters feel the same, though I suspect they do. Continue reading