Forgiving an Affair that Occurred Decades Ago

coupleTwice in the last year, I have been asked by someone how to overcome the recent disclosure that their spouse had an affair many years ago. In one case, about 20 years ago. In another case, 30 years ago (yes, during the first Reagan Administration!).  I guess I was initially puzzled as what to advise.  So I throw this one out to my readers as well. Continue reading

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Interview After the Affair: Mike’s Affair Story

ImageI hope to create a series of these — sort of an “In their own words” kind of blog entries– for former cheaters, current cheaters, the Other Woman/Other Man, maybe betrayed spouses (although they never seem to be without venues for their stories and opinions, so maybe not).  this is the first one.  Through it, I hope to put real faces, real emotions and thoughts to a complex issue.  For my readers to gain insight into the minds of people involved in infidelity.   Continue reading

Recovery of Trust After an Affair

ImageMany couples that have been through infidelity want to restore trust after an affair but find this to be the most difficult part of rebuilding their marriage. More specifically, the injured spouse, the one that was cheated on, almost always finds it impossible to trust his or her partner. This is one of the most difficult parts because the partner has already shown that they were untrustworthy in the past. How can they be trusted again?

Unfortunately, without learning how to trust again, it will be impossible to rebuild the marriage. It’s a waste of your time and theirs. It’s that simple. Continue reading

The Seven Types of Affairs

rememberYes, there are different types of affairs!  It’s occurred to me how much on blogs and forums we throw around the word “affair” as if they are all about the same.   As if a one-night stand is the same as 5-year, deeply emotional and physical affair.  I think  that properly identifying the type of affair that has occurred or is occurring is important because it will lead the betrayed spouse to make the right decision – should I stay or should I go?  Answer the question of who they are really married to?  Continue reading

More Affair Search Terms People Use to Reach My Blog and My Responses

searchengine

In lieu of getting ideas for posts, or having people sending me email questions to respond to here (mostly they would rather not have their questions end up on my blog, and I respect that), I go through the list on my dashboard of recent search engine terms that have led people to my blog.

And respond to them quickly. Kind of like “Drive-By Advice”.  This is part III. Continue reading