Twice in the last year, I have been asked by someone how to overcome the recent disclosure that their spouse had an affair many years ago. In one case, about 20 years ago. In another case, 30 years ago (yes, during the first Reagan Administration!). I guess I was initially puzzled as what to advise. So I throw this one out to my readers as well. Continue reading
I hope to create a series of these — sort of an “In their own words” kind of blog entries– for former cheaters, current cheaters, the Other Woman/Other Man, maybe betrayed spouses (although they never seem to be without venues for their stories and opinions, so maybe not). this is the first one. Through it, I hope to put real faces, real emotions and thoughts to a complex issue. For my readers to gain insight into the minds of people involved in infidelity. Continue reading
If you think in any way I’m excusing affairs. I’m not. Let me be completely frank about affairs: They are 100% WRONG! Continue reading
Many couples that have been through infidelity want to restore trust after an affair but find this to be the most difficult part of rebuilding their marriage. More specifically, the injured spouse, the one that was cheated on, almost always finds it impossible to trust his or her partner. This is one of the most difficult parts because the partner has already shown that they were untrustworthy in the past. How can they be trusted again?
Unfortunately, without learning how to trust again, it will be impossible to rebuild the marriage. It’s a waste of your time and theirs. It’s that simple. Continue reading
Yes, there are different types of affairs! It’s occurred to me how much on blogs and forums we throw around the word “affair” as if they are all about the same. As if a one-night stand is the same as 5-year, deeply emotional and physical affair. I think that properly identifying the type of affair that has occurred or is occurring is important because it will lead the betrayed spouse to make the right decision – should I stay or should I go? Answer the question of who they are really married to? Continue reading
After receiving a number of emailed questions from Betrayed Spouses, it occurred to me that there is an issue out there that I haven’t read much about: When your Wayward Spouse claims to want to save the marriage, has ended the affair, but does not show or state real remorse for what they did. It can be enraging and confusing. Continue reading
In lieu of getting ideas for posts, or having people sending me email questions to respond to here (mostly they would rather not have their questions end up on my blog, and I respect that), I go through the list on my dashboard of recent search engine terms that have led people to my blog.
And respond to them quickly. Kind of like “Drive-By Advice”. This is part III. Continue reading
Interesting question. Is it better to have ended the affair and return to your marriage, determined that you will make things better and that this will never happen again, or to have your affair uncovered and the bare truth laid out to your spouse?
I received an email question on an interesting question which seems to break strongly into a couple of camps. The question, when the spouse of the person your spouse cheated with doesn’t know about the affair, should you tell this person what had been going on? Continue reading