Violence and Dealing with a Cheating Spouse

C5EF09B6-9CBC-E2B9-F4B878473A9CBC20I’ve seen a number of newspaper articles related to someone assaulting their spouse whom cheated or suspected of cheating. And of course, the assaulting spouse trying to justify it.   And usually with a lot of “YOU GO, GIRL!” types of supporting comments when the woman conducts the assault, as if there’s some gender-based rules for when assault is ok or legal (newsflash: it’s not).   I wonder if they feel the same when they hear of a wife being assaulted by a jealous husband?   It’s quite beyond the pale.  Assault is assault. Whether you’re a woman or not. Whether your partner cheated or not.  You can’t just hit someone or destroy property and then act so surprised when you are arrested, booked, and convicted.

Especially when you’re pretending to “forgive” and “reconcile.”  It’s ridiculous.  Frankly, some of you need to get kinda real..infidelity is a horrible thing, but is this who YOU are?   In fact, a person who physically assaults ANYONE is really of low character.   A “Jerry Springer” sort of low-class, low-intelligence person.  Violence?  There is no justification!

I’ve never hit anyone, but I would defend myself is someone tried.  Nor would I ever hit my wife, even if I caught her in the act with three men simultaneously, one man in each orifice.  Leave her? Yes.  Get a lawyer and try and take her to the cleaners? You bet.

However, from a spouse/GF, I wouldn’t tolerate even one slap.  Even at the moment of disclosure, if my wife had hit me, I would’ve left her.  I wouldn’t have called the police, but I would’ve left her.  Period.  It’s uncivilized. It’s wrong. It’s a low-class thing to do.  Leave someone if they cheated? Fine.  Divorce them? Sure.  But physically assault and otherwise seek revenge? You’d have to be a pea-wit.  The best revenge is living well. If you can’t forgive, move on.  Assault might make you feel better, but seriously, is it worth it??

Wife Arrested After Assault on Husband

A Greenwich woman was arrested Sunday after a domestic violence incident resulted from an accusation about her husband, who she suspected was cheating on her. According to police reports, the 29-year-old woman was angry and destroyed property in the house and damaged his car. She also cut her husband with a knife and struck him with a baseball bat. She turned herself in to police and was arrested on charges of third-degree assault, first-degree criminal attempt at assault, first-degree criminal mischief and reckless endangerment. She posted $1,000 bond and was set to appear in court Monday.

Man Assaults Girlfriend After Suspecting Her Of ‘Cheating’ With Mitt Romney

A Tenn. man is accused of punching his girlfriend and smashing her laptop after seeing a photo of Mitt Romney on her Facebook account.A Knoxville, Tenn. man allegedly bashed his girlfriend’s laptop and punched her in the face after she answered his demands to know the name of the clean-cut gentleman she was gazing at on her Facebook.

Her response: Mitt Romney.

Lowell Turpin, 40, remains in Anderson County Jail on domestic assault charges in connection with the July 22 incident. The live-in girlfriend suspected of cheating with the presumed Republican presidential candidate had upset the man by “attempting to communicate with friends through the Facebook account.”

Four women tag-team cheating husband with super glue

After a bizarre act of revenge, four women face felony charges for an assault against a womanizer who is married to one of his attackers.  The victim’s wife and three women, two of whom the man was dating, met at a motel to trap him in order to exact their revenge for his cheating ways.   After he was lured to the location, the Wisconsin man was tied up, and his wife, along with Wendy Sewell, 43, Therese Ziemann, 48, and Michelle Belliveau, 43, super-glued his penis to his stomach.

Dentist Kills Cheating Husband with Car

 In 2003, Clara Harris, a Texas dentist was convicted of killing her cheating husband by repeatedly running over him in her car in the parking lot of the motel where she found him with his mistress.  Clara Harris was found guilty of murdering her husband and on February 14, 2003, she was sentenced to 20 years in prison (the maximum she could get under the charge) and fined $10,000.

Man Assaults Wife With Hot Pressing Iron

6 year-old Mrs Mercy Nnamdi, the woman whose one-year-old son was allegedly killed by her husband recently in Ago, Okota area of Lagos, over her husband’s allegation that she was sleeping with his father, life could never have been more cruel.  This is because never in her wildest imagination had she envisaged that a man she had known almost all her life could mete such inhuman treatment on her.  As you read this piece, Mercy is going through excruciating pains in a private hospital in Okota where doctors are battling to save her life.

In fact, the once bubbling woman looks a shadow of herself, as medical report showed that she sustained a third degree burns from the her husband of two years used on her on Saturday, April 7 2012, which was exclusively reported by Vanguard.

Presently, the badly burnt woman maintains a particular position, by sleeping on her back. She wears an adult pampers when she eases herself, with a tissue paper by her side, with which she cleans the fluid coming out from the burns.

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When you discover your spouse is cheating or they make a confession it can send you on an emotional roller coaster ride that you are not prepared for. Hurt, confusion and self pity are just a few of the emotions you may experience. But there is one that is quite common that few betrayed spouses escape. And that is anger. True sometimes that anger is directed at ourselves. What did you do to cause them to have an extramarital affair? It can cause you to beat yourself up something awful.

Usually however that anger is directed toward the person doing the betraying and if you are not careful it can quickly and easily get out of control.  No one is going to betray or make a fool out of you. The more you think about it the angrier you get. Then what happens is you box yourself in emotionally.    Too many people have convinced themselves that their only recourse is to get revenge in some way. So they reach for the ultimate way to hurt their significant other. With violence.

That’s not a very smart decision, and in fact it’s downright stupid. In the first place it’s not going to change what happened. But more importantly you have no right to physically assault anyone. If you feel that strongly than by all means pack up and leave. Then go out and hire the best divorce lawyer you can afford.  If you however turn to violence or destruction of property, you may go to jail. Or they may get revenge on YOU at some point.

Violent forms of revenge and other illegal activities can land a person in jail. Thousands of women are behind bars for attempting to get revenge by shooting, stabbing, battering or physically assaulting their cheating mates.  There’s really no need to resort to violent, criminal, or illegal activities to get revenge on a cheater. Especially since there are legal, financial, and non-violent options that accomplish the same thing.

Sure, feel anger.  But hurting someone is not an option. The betrayal is bad enough without you permanently destroying their life as well as you own.  You really want to go to jail and/or be fined because someone cheated on you?  How utterly self-defeating and silly.  In fact, I think in some ways, you’ve now cemented in their mind that they’ve left you for very good reasons — you’re an irrational, immature moron.  And probably now a felon too.

In the end, the best revenge may be to do nothing. Once the cheater is aware that you know about the affair,hold your head high, act honorably, and show the cheater that you don’t have to stoop to his or her level to seek revenge. Show them your life will go on just fine with or without them. The cheater will either be totally consumed with guilt over how he or she has treated you. Or he or she will never have peace of mind because they’ll keep looking over their shoulder, waiting for the “other shoe to drop.” And that may be the best revenge of all.

Anyone who has read this blog knows that I think that affairs are 100% wrong.  No matter what. An abomination. A betrayal of the highest order.  However, I would never go to jail or get fined or get put on probation because I assaulted someone who cheated on me or destroyed their property. Why?  Seems silly. Self-defeating. I have more self-esteem then to let someone control my self-worth in that way.  Way too many fish in the sea to toss my life away on someone whom probably shouldn’t be in my life anyway.

Get a grip, people.  If they are THAT bad of a person, why on earth do you still want them anyway?  You should be glad they are out of your life.

But if you do this and get caught, playing the victim is laughable.  Seriously.

TO THOSE WHO HAVE BEEN HIT BY A SPOUSE:  Leave immediately or throw them out.  Whichever is easier. There is no justification. This is not a good person you are married to. This is someone who thinks that violence is an acceptable way to deal with anger and conflict.    Even if you cheated, you don’t deserve to be assaulted.  Don’t listen to their pleas about how they deserve a “second chance.” It’s likely this will happen again.  Throw them out, have them arrested and get a restraining order.  Immediately.

NOTE:   I will not accept any  comments that in any way minimize or justify this course of action. You can’t justify it or sugar coat it. It’s not ok if you’re a woman either.  It’s not “oh, well, that’s what happens when you have an affair!”, either.  that type of (il)logic is for fools and a slippery slope — you can’t justify doing violent and/or illegal things.  You just can’t.  It’s simply  wrong and self-defeating, let alone illegal.  In fact, I really don’t wish any comments at all on this post, even in agreement.  It stands on its own. thanks.

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One thought on “Violence and Dealing with a Cheating Spouse

  1. its sick. its really really sick. i agree. i went way beyond any other story of any other betrayed wife that ive read. sometimes i make light of it… because, to be honest. im straight up done with all the shame. of all of it. his cheating, my reaction. done. but for real. what i did… killed me on the inside far more than his cheating did. i devalued myself. more than his affair ever could.

    i agree, it was a moronic, neanderthal thing to do. that doesnt make me a moron though. not figuring out wtf and trying to do better. thats a moron.

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