For those of you who deny the possibility that the extent to which you meet your partner’s needs has a direct effect on their desire to stay faithful to you, I provide you this article which summarizes a study which basically concludes that the more that men go down on their wives, the less likely their wives are to stray. And yes, the cause/effect goes for men too. Those who are happy eating at home rarely eat out!! 🙂 Even if the study has its flaws, I think the point is very valid. Yes, the extent to which a person’s critical emotional needs (and yes, sex is primarily an emotional need, even for men) are met — the extent to which people are happy and content in their relationships — has a direct correlation to their fidelity. Period.
A rather spicy new study has received some major attention (and criticism). Apparently, if you’re a guy who wants his chances of evolutionary survival to go up, you should be going down. Going down on your woman reduces the likelihood of infidelity and increases the chances that your female partner will stick around long enough to carry your baby and advance your genes into the next generation. Thus, from an evolutionary perspective, cunnilingus is a tool in a man’s arsenal to retain a reliable mate, i.e. make sure the chick he’s investing “resources” in won’t have some other dude’s kid.
Most of us would imagine that the answer to the mystery of male-on-female oral sex or cunnilingus is as obvious as the answer to the mystery of its converse, female-on-male oral sex or fellatio: That, at least, one partner enjoys it. But evolutionary psychology (“evo pscyh”) is a field of scientific inquiry (“supposedly” critics would add) that asserts that in spite of the complexity of human motivations and goals, we really are automatons captive to the whims and caprices of our “selfish genes” such that our apparently completely voluntary actions have in fact been selected naturally to enhance the capability of our obsessively competitive genes to propagate (never mind the controversies over what genes really are).
So, within the framework of this uniquely scientific way of thinking, you don’t assume that you perform oral sex on your girlfriend because she enjoys it or because you do, for the reason that your genes are consummate puppet masters who, in spite of the fact that they really don’t have motives in the anthropomorphic sense of the word, have somehow engineered the entire paraphernalia of biologicality to cloak deceptively their behind-the-scene machinations for world domination to the confusing effect that while you can always be sure that everything you do, you do not to enhance the quality of your existence but that of your genes, you are never sure exactly how your seemingly voluntary actions fit into the world domination scheme of your gene puppet masters until you have designed scientific hypotheses and tested them against the presumed goals of genes.
A team of “evo” psychologists, Michael Pham and Todd Shackelford, at the Department of Psychology, Oakland University, Rochester, MI, USA, in a paper titled “Is cunnilingus-assisted orgasm a male sperm-retention strategy?” published in the Journal of Evolutionary Psychology, start out with the hypothesis consequent to the assumption that everything we do, we do for our genes, that men perform oral sex on their partners because it increases the chances of inducing the notoriously elusive female orgasmic response which helps to generate propulsive forces in the female genital tract that speed up sperm cells to their end, which is union with the ovum godhead in the uterine recesses as a way of enhancing the propagation and survival of genes
The researchers sampled heterosexual American and German males, whose tastes are presumed, questionably, to be typical of heterosexual men worldwide (including Taliban polygamists). The study authors :
We secured data from 243 men in committed, sexual, heterosexual relationships to test the sperm retention hypothesis of oral sex. We predicted that, among men who perform cunnilingus on their partner, those at greater risk of sperm competition are more likely to perform cunnilingus until their partner achieves orgasm (Prediction 1), and that, among men who ejaculate during penile-vaginal intercourse and whose partner experiences a cunnilingus-assisted orgasm, ejaculation will occur during the brief period in which female orgasm might function to retain sperm (Prediction 2). The results support Prediction 1 but not Prediction 2. We discuss limitations of the current research and discuss how these results may be more consistent with alternative hypotheses regarding female orgasm and oral sex. What the researchers discovered to their shock was that contrary to their presumptions based on theory, men, or more precisely American and German men, do not perform oral sex on their partners as part of a “sperm retention strategy” but as part of a “mate retention strategy.”
According to the authors:
The results of the current study are not consistent with the hypothesis that cunnilingus is designed to promote sperm retention. Men at greater recurrent risk of sperm competition are more likely to perform cunnilingus on their partner until she achieves orgasm; however, ejaculation usually does not occur in the brief time period during which orgasm might function to retain sperm. The authors continue :
Female orgasm may be designed to increase relationship satisfaction (Pair-Bond Hypothesis), to encourage subsequent copulations (Promoting Future Copulations Hypothesis)… The results of the current research provide support for the Pair-Bond Hypothesis and the Promotion of Future Copulations Hypothesis. The Pair-Bond Hypothesis states that female orgasm functions to strengthen the emotional bond between partners, and the Promoting Future Copulations Hypothesis states that female orgasm functions to reward sexual behaviors, thereby promoting future sexual encounters with a particular man. These two hypotheses are consistent with the broader hypothesis that men promote their partner’s orgasm to minimize the risk of her infidelity because women who experience stronger feelings of intimacy and who are more satisfied with their partner are less likely to commit infidelity (Buss and Shackelford, 1997).
Eureka! In other words, men perform oral sex to stop their wayward partners from going in search of greener sexual pastures; an efficient strategy, no doubt, provided, of course, that the horde of competitors haven’t caught up on the strategy, initiating a cunnilingus arms race guaranteed to preserve the lucky subject of their singular oral attention permanently in the seven heavens of multiple orgasms. B
And in very simple terms: Keep your mate happy. In bed and otherwise. And they are less likely to stray. Men or women. Happy and content people rarely have affairs. How one is treated and the extent to which one’s critical emotional needs (including satisfying sexual activity) are met has a direct impact on the chances they stray. No matter what some say in blogs about how PERFECT of a spouse they are and can’t imagine why their mate cheated, you will find that the vast majority of cheating is a direct cause and effect with the extent to which one is happy and content in their relationship.