Affair Lessons from the Anthony Weiner Saga

 65a90bec-ffea-3c37-8e02-563d262a5cc9I’ve been following this closely because of the attention that former Congressman and  NYC Mayoral candidate Anthony Weiner has been receiving, especially this week.  Why? Because he’s a public figure and he’s not just simply a cheater, but a man who was forced to resign his seat in Congress in June 2011 because he was “outed” for “sexting” various women and sending apparently nude pictures of himself to various women as well.  How did it happen?  Weiner accidentally tweeted a crotch shot of himself to his 45,000 followers on Twitter!!  Then of course some of his “sexting partners” started talking to the press.

So in June 2011, when he was forced to resign by leaders of the Democratic Party, he had the usual ‘mea culpa’ speech, with his dutiful (and very fetching) wife by his side at the podium.   This of course was not until after he claimed that no, it wasn’t him. Then that his Twitter account had been “hacked.”  All lies, of course.  He resigned, but only under pressure.  Of course he claimed he will be “seeking treatment” in order to be a “better husband.”  This got more attention than your “run of the mill affair” because of the whole sexting/nude selfies angle.  From a public figure!!

Anyway, he then he disappeared from the national scene.

Of course, the jokes followed.  What an UNFORTUNATE last name to have if you are sexting your privates to women!!  *giggle*

Fast forward a year later. He has the idiots in the media to help him clearly on his very planned “public redemption.”

Within a year we see the “happy couple” (*cough*) posing for a touching family portrait in People magazine, along with their new baby. “I’m proud to be married to him,” she said. “… Anthony has spent every day since [the scandal] trying to be the best dad and husband he can be.”

People wasn’t the only media outlet seduced by this redemptive tale. In April, The New York Times Magazine ran a cover story full of the same sappy twaddle. “The two of them had seemed to be a power couple on the cusp of a Clintonian rise,” the writer gushed. Mr. Weiner was described as a formerly obnoxious jerk whose travails had transformed him into a tender and devoted househusband.

“Anthony has always been a smart, caring and dedicated person,” Huma writes in the September issue of Harper’s Bazaar, “and while he’s the same public servant who wants what’s best for the people he represents, he is now something else – a better man.”

A moment while I vomit!!  Of course, he was assisted by Left-Leaning publications in his sham public redemption.  I doubt the same loving assistance and lack of scrutiny would have been given to a Republican in this circumstance. But I digress.

So fast forward to this spring. Up pops Mr. Weiner (sorry, I had to say it!) to run for Mayor of NYC! He asks for forgiveness again. He says it’s “all behind him” and that he wishes, of course, that voters focus on the important issues facing New York.  You know the script.

And then in one day, POOF, he’s back in the news. Seems that Mr. Weiner hasn’t slowed down his weiner-texting escapades!  He pretty much has been doing it ever since. With new women.  At least one who outed him again.

In yet ANOTHER news conference a couple days ago with dutiful wife standing by his side, Under questioning, he admitted that he had exchanged sexual messages with “between six and 10” women before he resigned from Congress in June 2011 and at least three more women up until last summer when he says he quit.

Now it’s coming out that some of this “contact” was as recently as last April.  So as of this morning, everyone is calling for him to drop out of the race and his poll numbers are plummeting.

So what does this have to do with anything? Well, I think there are lessons to be learned for this cheater.

1. You can survive scandal, even infidelity, but not ridicule.  Mr. Weiner, until yesterday, was leading the race for Mayor of New York. But he won’t win. In fact, I’m guessing he will drop out of the race by this Sunday.  Why? Mr. Weiner is now the laughingstock of politics – for the second time in 2 years.  Fodder for the press.

ERECTION UPDATE,” shouted a Drudge Report headline. “Pressure mounts on Weiner to pull out.”

weiner mobile*snicker*

What made it worse?  Weiner thought he’d be more clever with his sexting — created a fake name to do it in – “Carlos Danger”.   Are you joking??  You’ve handed the critics ammo for YEARS to ridicule you with.  Carlos Danger?  You look like Arnold Horseshack in a tie!

2.  If you’re going to do this stuff while a public figure, you’re an idiot.   I’m afraid it’s not really possible any longer. The media won’t protect you. In fact, the “media” because of smart phones, social media and millions of websites has become anyone who wants to be.  If you are at all a public figure, nobody is going to give you a break if they get dirt on you. This isn’t like JFK when he was boinking women at the White House anytime Jackie was out of town.  And the media protected him. Those days are over!

38966d00e0689618380f6a706700d5e9 3.  YES YOU NEED HELP WITH SEXUAL COMPULSIONS.  Just saying you “put it all behind you” when you have this kind of sexual compulsion (to sext and send nude photos to numerous people) is silly. You have a sort of a sickness. That needs treatment. It doesn’t just go away. You’re like an alcoholic.  If you don’t treat a sexual addiction, it’s likely you’re not going to be able to keep it under control. Being a public figure and/or famous person means that you will have lots of temptations. Constant temptations. More than the average person.  You can’t just say “I’ll never do that again.” You need help in dealing with this type of sexual disorder and compulsion.  He obviously didn’t get much “help” with this.

4.  The arrogance of power and thinking you can’t get caught again.  What on earth was this dufus thinking?? He KNOWS he hadn’t stopped his behavior, yet he puts himself BACK into the spotlight by running for the Mayorship of the biggest city in the US!!  Did he think that this might not leak out?  This speaks to his judgment.  Maybe to naivete?  Or the mindset of a 12 year old boy?  Or someone so drunk with power and adoration that they think they are above the rules?  Certainly this is a trait typical of many people in power, especially men. Hello, John Edwards? Bill Clinton?  Mark Sanford??

“Look, I made some big mistakes, and I let a lot of people down,” said Weiner, in a video announcing his run for mayor. “But I’ve also learned some tough lessons.”  Really?  Did you?

Cheating has never been easier due to modern technology, as is fulfilling the most impossible to imagine deviant desire and fetish, but it’s also made it so easy to be caught too.  The electronic trails are numerous and long and there are always people that want to report dirt!

f550a238-db06-3bcb-ad9e-fb9a3ca35a8f5. Standing by your man:  Idiot or political opportunist?  And what of the wife?  Again, standing by her man?  There she was at the podium. Again.  “I love him, I have forgiven him, I believe in him,” she told reporters. But her body language was excruciating. She looked as if she wanted to kick him in the giblets.

Back to his wife.  There’s more there than meets the eye.  Don’t condemn her as a doormat. She’s not. She’s a rank political opportunist.  And there’s a curious connection to another famous philanderer and liar.  His wife is longtime Hillary Clinton aide, Huma Abedin.  She has much to gain by being heavily involved in a potential Hillary run at the Presidency in 2016.  And she would like, I think, to weather the storm and not have to withdraw from public life.  I don’t see her as a doormat.  Like Hillary, she’s turning a blind-eye in order to be near power.

Dr. Judy Kuriansky, a relationship expert, cited Abedin’s previous experience working in politics as advantageous. “I think she made, from a psychological point of view, very cleverly worded statements,” she said. “She has been in this political game for many years. She’s worked with the Clintons. She understands how the game is going and how it works.”

If you want to condemn her for this cold calculation, you can do that. I don’t think she’s doing it out of love for him or a shared child.  Like Hillary, she’s turning a blind eye.  And Hillary is her boss.  Is she fool, doormat or calculating opportunist? I vote for the latter.  She wants to be the wife of the Mayor of New York City. Desperately.

How sad.

6.  You’ve made it harder for ALL of us, Anthony!  What are you thinking? Don’t you realize that most people out there believe “once a cheater, always a cheater”?  That too many believe that we are beyond redemption? That all we’ve learned is that you just have to get better at lying and hiding it?? Thanks a lot, dufus!!



7 thoughts on “Affair Lessons from the Anthony Weiner Saga

  1. Sometimes I wonder about the incidents of infidelity among politicians, specifically if, in their mind, they believe it is acceptable because their marriages are arranged among themselves for power, or at least power is a STRONG motivation for initial attraction. Couple this with the slow poisoning of the character by being able to circumvent checks and balances by group consensus, progressing into small corruptions like illegal campaign contributions, illegal tax write offs, blaming the tax problems on the CPA, until it gets incredibly worse.
    I’d like to be able to say “If the woman can’t trust her husband, why should we?” but I am not sure that she ever did to begin with; that, I think, is a major problem in politics today.
    [End of soapbox rant]

    • Yeah. When I heard this, the thing that struck me is WHY would he run for office, KNOWING full well that all of this would come out? Part of me thinks it’s just a high level of arrogance (and obviously ignorance) and part of me thinks that one some level, he had to have WANTED it to come out. I mean….did he really think that no one would find out? Or that any of the women he was in communication with wouldn’t speak up? It seems if he was SERIOUS about running for office, that he either would have TRULY learned and changed, knowing that he wanted to run for office in a few years. OR, he would have waited longer to run. I just do not get it.

      So it HAS to be a sexual compulsion. Or complete and total ignorance. I’m not sure. I agree with your theory on the wife. She likely doesn’t care anymore, of if she does, she cares more about a political career for one, or both of them. Again, not sure.

      One thing I am sure of though, is that he is a doofus. I know that there are those who argue that the “private lives” of our politicians should not be made public. Well, I disagree. Because if he is a compulsive person by nature, that doesn’t bode well for him being a stable politician. If he is arrogant or dishonest….how can that not spill over into his political reign? And if he is just ignorant, then….that speaks for itself. I’d have to say that the ONLY way, at this point, that he could actually salvage ANY sort of political career, would be for he and his wife, to come out as the new faces of “open marriage”. Not gonna happen. But only that, could out any distance between him, and whatever the hell he has been doing for the last two years, while supposedly “reformed”. And in our society, even though we have become way more open minded, I don’t think that an “open marriage” defense is going to fly either.

      Finally, I wonder, how many women will be interested in him, once he is truly a nobody? Just a dude with a shady past, a wife, and NO political pull or career, in the works. Will any women really want him? And will he want them, if he realizes that he is not the “powerful politician” he obviously thought he was or aspired to be? He’ll just be another average Joe, with a sexual addiction issue. Mr. “Wiener” will no longer be the political “hot dog” he once thought he was. He’ll just be your average “dick” who cheats. (Sorry…the name. You just can’t NOT go there…..LOL!)

      On Thu, Jul 25, 2013 at 3:14 PM, Affair Resources and Advice wrote:

      > ** > thepillarsofherearth commented: “Sometimes I wonder about the incidents > of infidelity among politicians, specifically if, in their mind, they > believe it is acceptable because their marriages are arranged among > themselves for power, or at least power is a STRONG motivation for initial > att”

  2. While the media and the public make the usual noises about what a scumbag he is, my hope is that he gets the help he so clearly needs. I actually feel sorry for the man. While what he did was very wrong, his addiction trumped his common sense. Why else would you risk so much for so little? Most men would face this with a woman by their side who truly loves them, wants them to get the help they need and wants to heal their marriage. Not a woman who likely has ravenous personal political ambitions. I see him as a lonely man caught in a pit of sexual addiction and surrounded by people who are there for their own reasons. I know
    that sounds harsh and I hope it is wrong, but I think the loneliest person in the world is an addict who doesn’t have anyone in their corner willing to fight for them to get the help they need.

  3. I don’t think he is sad and lonely. I think he is very arrogant and feels entitled to do whatever he wishes. I agree he looks like Arnold Horshak with a tie but I bet he is charming and charismatic. Nerds usually make great lovers. I’d be interested to see his wiener.;) What about Spitzer the guy who makes love to hot prostitutes with socks on. He’s a character too. His story made him even more famous and he even landed a show on CNN and the prostitute, well she landed a big job too. It just goes to show you that America is not shocked by the headlines anymore. It’s good for business or at least that’s what I’ve been told.

    • Know what’s funny about the Spitzer thing? A couple years ago, I happened to be staying at the Mayflower — the same hotel where this famous tryst took place. Of course, i was curious. I went to the door of the famous suite he had with this prostitute. And shot a picture of the door! Haha.

    • I will have to depart from your comments somewhat. I DO think he is arrogant. People in power often are. You have to have a certain mega-ego and arrogance to rise up in politics (and business) and especially in the public eye. Same in show business, I would think. And that arrogance — that somehow the regular rules don’t apply to people like him — is a contributing factor for sure! It gives him the “internal excuse” to embark on getting what it is he thinks he needs, wants and/or deserves.

      That being said, I truly think that people that embark on such RECKLESS behavior, especially of a sexual nature, are in fact, extremely damaged people. Depressed people. Lonely (even though they are surrounded by people). Whatever thing he “needs” and can only fulfill in this way is the direct result of seem deep flaw and perhaps wound. To put so much at risk and to engage in something that is so likely to be discovered and ultimately derail your marriage, your career and your aspirations, well, it tells me that he has some very deep issues. And even his “hobby” isn’t truly making him happy. He’s on a cycle that he can’t quite break out of. Need — fulfillment – temporary satisfaction — panic – guilt and shame – withdrawal from the activity — then the need arises again. Rinse and repeat.

      That’s how I view this guy. A very damaged individual, surrounded and fueled by an arrogance providing him the internal justification and courage to pursue his need fulfillment.

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