As far as I’m concerned, with topics related to affair, there will be no hitting the easy ones for me here. No “softballs”. Plenty of other blogs and resources for those. I don’t cut corners or mince words. My POV is direct, blunt and sincerely-given. Always.
I think I’ve already hit a lot of the major topics related to affairs and recovery. So now I prefer to take on the more difficult issues. Even controversial ones. If nothing else, to provide a Point of View that people often don’t hear in the “mainstream” message boards and blogs related to affairs. I think it’s needed. I’m filling a void. Not too many blogs out there by former male cheaters. If you came looking for me to go on and on about my personal agonies and to self-flagellate for my sins, I hate to disappoint you but I’m not going to do this. My personal story and my marriage — it’s pretty much between me and my wife now.
As for the blog, I don’t require you to agree with me — you can if you wish. But I’m not going to debate things either. Questions I will take. Agreement? I can take them or leave them. If they aren’t overly negative or too long, I accept them. Some I don’t (yes, that’s right. some I don’t accept). But if your purpose is to tell me that I’m wrong based on your experience or preconceived notions? Don’t bother. You won’t change my mind.
But debate? No. I’m not going down that road again. You rarely convince anyone on this topic by debating. High emotions often prevent people from opening their minds, and this topic is LADEN with high emotions, anger and hurt. Debating detracts from the purpose of the blog — which I sincerely believe in: To help people get out affairs, avoid them altogether, or heal from them (betrayed and wayward spouses alike). I only post things that I TRULY think are helpful and I believe in. And part of this is to wade into controversial issues — where the readership is firmly divided — I’m not afraid of it.
Here are some potential topics I was considering. Feel free to comment on these as good (or bad) potential topics, or suggest things you might like me to write about:
1. Is porn “cheating”? Or does it contribute significantly to the incidence of affairs?
2. Setting up “boundary agreements” and “rules” in the wake of an affair. Pitfalls?
3. Spying/snooping on your spouse – good idea? Pros and cons.
Thoughts? I’m looking for ideas.
And as usual, nasty, snarky, obnoxious comments will not be accepted and the commenter will be assigned permanently to the spam bin. So please keep this serious. I’m trying to be helpful to people. Seriously.